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Day 360 – Expired Milk

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH IS BACK!! (again)

THE THEME: Expired Milk

I am going to share something with you.

I always, always sniff milk suspiciously before I drink it.

I sniff the cream before it goes in my coffee.

And I always, always think it might be going off. Sometimes I make other people smell it too. And then I drink it anyways.

I always drink it anyways. It’s probably a good thing I live in the era of pasteurization.

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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August 27 2012 | food | 2 Comments »

Day 356 – Naked Mice

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: Naked Mice!

Clearly, mice are perverts:

On the plus side, you could always make fun of his teeny tiny… trench coat. Yes. Trench coat.

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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June 05 2011 | accessories and animals | No Comments »

Day 355 – Clumsy Crafter

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: Clumsy crafter!

My sewing machine is a beast. No, truly, it is. It’s an industrial needle-feed sewing machine, which means it’s approximately the size, weight, and temperment of a menstruating elephant on caffiene pills.

I love her like no other.

That said, when I bought her, the repair guy I purchased her from gave me an item of advice that started thusly:

“WHEN you sew over your finger and GET THE NEEDLE IMBEDDED THROUGH THE BONE, stay calm and turn the wheel. Don’t pull!”

and ended with:

“and then get the the hospital. They might be able to save the finger if it hasn’t been crushed”

This kind of thing might turn some people off of using an item of machinery that CAN SEW THROUGH BONE, but it only made me love her more. It also made me super wary of her finger-eating power, so I’ve only had a few close calls and no finger loss (yet).

However, I am still a clumsy clumsy dumbass, so don’t be surprised if I end up in this situation:

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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May 15 2011 | accessories and homage | 4 Comments »

Day 352 – Pugs!

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: Pugs!

I know, I know. Pugs. So ugly they’re cute!

Pugs are my happy place. They snort, they snuff, they wear cute little costumes while cavorting in meadows and generally being adorable.

And yet, there is this photo. It should be pure win-sauce. I mean, it’s a pug, dressed as a unicorn. In a pumpkin patch. Sounds like win to me! And yet…. it kinda confuses me. What is this? I don’t even….

So weird pug photo, I salute you. You are the first result in google images when I search “Pug in Costume”, which means I see you on an almost daily basis. No lie.

For this theme, there are two other competitors:
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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April 24 2011 | accessories and animals and homage | 1 Comment »

Day 348 – CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH: School Bus Driver Hall of Fame

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: SCHOOL BUS DRIVER HALL OF FAMERS

Gentle readers, let me tell you a true story ripped from the pages of my own life.

I probably had a number of bus drivers in my formative years, but I only remember one. She wore a kitty cat sweatshirt, from which she had removed the arms. Her hair clung to her scalp like a felted sheep, and she brazenly smoked her cigarette out the side driver window.

Her name was Thelma.

The very first day she picked us up, she screeched the bus over to the side of the road, yelled at us to be quiet, and when we didn’t comply, roared:

“My name is bus driver Thelma AND I AIN’T NEED NO LOUISE TO DRIVE YOU OFFA CLIFF!”

I live in awe of that woman.

For this theme, there are three other competitors:
The Harpy!
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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February 27 2011 | homage and myths | 4 Comments »

Day 345 – CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH: Four W’s

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: FOUR W’s

This week we just had to come up with something that had four W’s in it.

BEHOLD: WANDERING WEASEL WATCHES WARILY

So you bedda not steal his hobo pack! I wonder what’s in there anyways?

For this theme, there are three other competitors:
The Harpy!
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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January 30 2011 | accessories and animals and moods and occupations | 3 Comments »

Day 342 – CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH: Undergarments as Headgear

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: UNDERWEAR AS HEADGEAR

I’m sure none of us have ever done this, ever.

look people, PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

AND YOU CAN’T PROVE IT DID.

For this theme, there are three other competitors:
The Harpy!
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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January 02 2011 | accessories and myths | 1 Comment »