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Archive for the 'homage' Category

Day 357 – What Has Been Seen Can Not Be Unseen Bot

If you’re an internet user, which, I can probably safely assume, since you are, at this moment, LOOKING AT THIS ON A WEBSITE, WHICH RESIDES IN THE INTERNET, you have had this moment.

WHY DID I CLICK THE LINK. OH GOD, MY EYES, MY EYES.

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June 12 2011 | homage and moods | 1 Comment »

Day 355 – Clumsy Crafter

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: Clumsy crafter!

My sewing machine is a beast. No, truly, it is. It’s an industrial needle-feed sewing machine, which means it’s approximately the size, weight, and temperment of a menstruating elephant on caffiene pills.

I love her like no other.

That said, when I bought her, the repair guy I purchased her from gave me an item of advice that started thusly:

“WHEN you sew over your finger and GET THE NEEDLE IMBEDDED THROUGH THE BONE, stay calm and turn the wheel. Don’t pull!”

and ended with:

“and then get the the hospital. They might be able to save the finger if it hasn’t been crushed”

This kind of thing might turn some people off of using an item of machinery that CAN SEW THROUGH BONE, but it only made me love her more. It also made me super wary of her finger-eating power, so I’ve only had a few close calls and no finger loss (yet).

However, I am still a clumsy clumsy dumbass, so don’t be surprised if I end up in this situation:

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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May 15 2011 | accessories and homage | 4 Comments »

Day 352 – Pugs!

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: Pugs!

I know, I know. Pugs. So ugly they’re cute!

Pugs are my happy place. They snort, they snuff, they wear cute little costumes while cavorting in meadows and generally being adorable.

And yet, there is this photo. It should be pure win-sauce. I mean, it’s a pug, dressed as a unicorn. In a pumpkin patch. Sounds like win to me! And yet…. it kinda confuses me. What is this? I don’t even….

So weird pug photo, I salute you. You are the first result in google images when I search “Pug in Costume”, which means I see you on an almost daily basis. No lie.

For this theme, there are two other competitors:
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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April 24 2011 | accessories and animals and homage | 1 Comment »

Day 351 – Mind Control

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: MIND CONTROL

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT BRAIN SLUGS. BRAIN SLUGS ARE GREAT. LET’S ALL WALK AROUND THE BRAIN SLUG PLANET NOT WEARING HELMETS. DID I MENTION I LOVE BRAIN SLUGS. BRAIN SLUGS ARE GREAT.

Here is a confession that will probably make all the nerds turn away in disgust: while I LOVE old futurama, it just hasn’t been the same since it came back. Much like a zombie!

And speaking of zombies, my first thought when this week’s theme was finialized was this: Zombie Ants! But let’s face it, GROSS. Also I don’t want to antagonize out new fungi overlords.

For this theme, there are three other competitors:
The Harpy!
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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March 20 2011 | accessories and animals and homage and occupations | 1 Comment »

Day 350 – FABRIC CHALLENGE

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: FABRIC CHALLENGE

I think I gasped out loud when I saw this fabric at the thrift store. I mean, sure it’s fun fur. But it’s SHERBET fun fur. STRIPED, SHERBET-COLOURED FUN FUR.

I mean, what could possibly possess someone to design this, let alone produce it?

oh, right. Drugs.

Anyway, I purchased it knowing it would be the most fabulous fabric challenge ever. Also, I’m mean.

The woman at the thrift store counter asked me what I was going to do with it, her tone of voice no different than if I’d been purchasing a bag of dead cockroaches. “I’m sending it to some friends!” I said brightly.

She replied, “Don’t like them much, do you?”

But I knew they’d be up for the challenge.

UNICORN!

For this theme, there are three other competitors:
The Harpy!
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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March 13 2011 | animals and different materials and homage and myths | 1 Comment »

Day 349 – CELERY!

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: CELERY

I admit, the first thing I thought of when this week’s theme was announced was the fifth Doctor. If that sentence made no sense to you, then you’ve been missing out on some amazing television.

But then I remembered the best snack that has ever existed.

That’s right, mother-effin ants on a mother-effen log. Behold the deliciousness:

yum!

As a side note, while you can make this with peanut butter, the true ants-on-a-log aficionado knows that it’s best with cheesy cheese spread (we use C’est Fromidable! but you may prefer another brand). Just like everything else in this world, it’s better with cheese!

For this theme, there are three other competitors:
The Harpy!
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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March 06 2011 | accessories and different materials and homage | No Comments »

Day 348 – CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH: School Bus Driver Hall of Fame

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: SCHOOL BUS DRIVER HALL OF FAMERS

Gentle readers, let me tell you a true story ripped from the pages of my own life.

I probably had a number of bus drivers in my formative years, but I only remember one. She wore a kitty cat sweatshirt, from which she had removed the arms. Her hair clung to her scalp like a felted sheep, and she brazenly smoked her cigarette out the side driver window.

Her name was Thelma.

The very first day she picked us up, she screeched the bus over to the side of the road, yelled at us to be quiet, and when we didn’t comply, roared:

“My name is bus driver Thelma AND I AIN’T NEED NO LOUISE TO DRIVE YOU OFFA CLIFF!”

I live in awe of that woman.

For this theme, there are three other competitors:
The Harpy!
Yermits!
Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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February 27 2011 | homage and myths | 4 Comments »

Day 341 – CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH: Historical Facial Hair

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

THE THEME: HISTORICAL FACIAL HAIR

This theme is near and dear to my heart. History! Facial Hair! AWESOMENESS.

So, maybe I went a bit overboard:

Okay. I’m hoping these dudes will all be familiar to you, but for your illumination (L to R, just like reading):

1. Wyatt Earp – Cowboy. ‘Nuff said.
2. Darwin – Amazing genius, sussed out evolution.
3. Nietzsche – Wrote a bunch of stuff, had a complicated last name.
4. Van Gogh – Painter, friend to Doctor Who.
5. Hulk Hogan – I think he was a wrestler? And a Nanny?
6. Dali – Melted some clocks.
7. Wild Bill – Best chum of Calamity Jane, super sass factory.
8. Einstein – Adorable super genius who didn’t know his own phone number. Who does?
9. Lincoln – Zombie hunter.
10. Ambrose Burnside – BAMF who has such awesome facial hair that the term side burns was names after him.
11. Dread Pirate Blackbeard – Sailed the seas, wrecked some havoc.
12. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle – wrote some stories that eventually introduced me to the excellentness that is Benedict Cumberbatch. Thank you, good sir.

For this theme, there are four competitors: me (duh), The Harpy!, Yermits and Sarah Apple!

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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December 12 2010 | accessories and homage | 3 Comments »

Day 339 – CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH: You, as vermin

CRAFT CORNER DEATH MATCH!!

This is week fourteen! This week is a bit different, we have TWO CHALLENGES. TWO. THAT IS TWICE AS MUCH AWESOMENESS FOR YOU!

This is the first challenge! For this theme, there are four competitors: me (duh), Yermits, Sarah Apple, and a new contender, The Harpy!

The Theme: Self-portrait As Vermin.

This is me! Those are my glasses, that is my green cardigan that will never stay closed (but has pockets and is so comfy I wear it all the time anyways), those are my sassy cowboy boots that I scored at the thrift store for $4 (now holey and only to be worn in dry weather to ensure dry feet). And of course, there is a leetle robot.

Oh, and a coffee. You might remember that I like coffee? I ALSO SPILL IT EVERY DAMN DAY. So there is the spill.

And why a racoon you might ask? Because they have chubby hips and clever hands. And if the bags under my eyes get any bigger, they might start to look like a bandit mask.

To see all the entries go to Craft Corner Death Match!

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December 05 2010 | accessories and animals and homage | 3 Comments »

Day 336 – Yermits vs Robots: FORBIDDEN LORE

YERMITS VS. ROBOTS VS APPLES: BATTLE OF INCOMPREHENSIBILY CUTE THINGS, OR MAYBE THINGS DRESSED AS OTHER THINGS WE DIDN’T REALLY TALK ABOUT WHAT TO CALL IT.

This is week eleven! The Theme: Forbidden Lore.

Okay, so I was going to do a Freemason bot for this week’s theme, but have you seen a freemason lately? They wear these aprons? It’s… uh… traditional or something? Anyway, I just couldn’t do it. Freemasonry may have a solid foundation of mystical woowoo and secret, forbidden lore roots, but the apron is a dealbreaker.

But you know who is totally stuffed full of forbidden lore?

Mothereffin Knights Templar. (Actually, it would seem that the freemasons are at least partially responsible for some of the lore surrounding the Templars. OF COURSE.) Anyway, supposedly the Knights Templar know all sorts of things, like where the holy grail is, and the masonic secrets, and how they get the caramel into a caramilk bar.

I am, of course, skeptical. If the Knights Templar knew where the Holy Grail was, they totally could have made nazis drink from it so that they would melt. That could’ve worked, right?

Also I should probably make a Monty Python reference here, to go along with that Indiana Jones one.

and here he is looking all full of secret lore and magical knowledge:

Here is Jenny Yermit’s forbidden entry:

Wooo, dragon. I have seen this in person and it is wonderful.

NEXT WEEK: FABRIC SWAP!

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November 14 2010 | homage and myths | 1 Comment »

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