Robot a Day

Day 64 - Giant Squid Bot

BEHOLD! The elusive and mysterious giant squid bot! raaaaaaaaaaaaaar!

Limited in edition to 2 - right here.

Tags: giant, squid, undersea

August 28 2008 | animals | 1 Comment »

Day 63 - HOLY $%#! Bot

You know how sometimes, you just can’t help but hide around a corner and startle someone?

This face is the gleeful reason why you keep doing it.

I’m just sayin.

Limited in edition to 2 - right here.

Tags: abject terror, bug eyes, hilarious jokes, pooped your pants because they startled you so bad, scared stupid

August 27 2008 | moods | 1 Comment »

I’ve planned this bot from the start, and I’ve also had numerous requests for it. Most requests mentioned different things (suspenders, ugly shoes, overbite, buck teeth, clothing referencing video games, short pants…) but there were two things that EVERY SINGLE PERSON WANTED IN A NERD.

BIG BLACK GLASSES AND A POCKET PROTECTOR.

never ever say that I’ve failed you.

LImited in edition to 15 bots - right here.

Tags: glasses, nerd, pocket protector, tie

August 26 2008 | occupations | 6 Comments »

Day 61 - Raccoon Bot

Oh raccoons! The bandits of the animal world. Much maligned, I think they are pretty darn fantastic. They are clever, cunning, cheeky, and lots of other good words that start with “c” (capricious, perhaps?). They have those fantastic little paws, too… and can live upwards of 16 years. Has anyone else seen this? Whenever I need my faith in humanity restored, that’s what I watch.

And you know what is sad, my friends? In urban and populated areas, hunting and traffic are responsible for around 90% of all raccoon deaths. I think I need another shot of that “saving a raccoon from a dumpster” video…..

Available in a limited edition of 5 bots - right here.

**seriously people, I had raccoon spelled wrong for the ENTIRE DAY and no one told me? I feel like I just walked around all day smiling at people with spinach caught in my teeth. The stupid thing is that I consistently spelled it wrong, even though I know how to spell the word. I’m blaming the brain lapse on the fact that it is forced to its limit by coming up with clever bots to make and pithy remarks to write on this blog.

***and then I made three spelling mistakes in my spelling note. SPELLING FAIL! I makes the bots, and the spelling mistakes.

Tags: bandit, raccoon

August 25 2008 | animals | 1 Comment »

Day 60 - Purple People Eater Bot

I’d like to point out here, gentle and dear readers, that I put a fair amount of time and effort into researching the purple people eater bot. Being a fairly unobservant child (or at least, somewhat oblivious to… well, everything), the only memory I had to draw on when constructing the purple people eater bot was that of eating Purple People Eater Ice-Cream in Florida while on vacation when I was 7. That was some good ice cream. It was purple (obviously), and had little people shaped candies in it. And, unbeknownst to be, it also contained, joy of joys, actual, real, sugar-laden chewing gum. So here I am, enjoying my ice cream, when we see a REAL LIVE ARMADILLO in the scrubby bushes. Upon returning to my ice cream, I finally noticed the gum peices…. and what other conclusion could I draw except that somehow the armadillo had put the chewing gum in that ice cream. Makes sense to me, anyways. So I may have believed that armadillos had magical powers for awhile (years) afterwards. Maybe.

Anyways, the moral of the story is that I couldn’t remember anything except for chewing gum and armadillos when I tried to make Purple People Eater Bot. So I wikipedia-ed it. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the Wikipedia? Where else can you find people arguing over the semantics of some crazy ass random song about a purple make-believe monster? NOWHERE BUT PRETENTIOUS PARTIES THROWN BY PHILOSOPHY STUDENTS AND THE INTERNET, DEAR READERS. And who cares if it eats people or only purple people? THAT’S STILL MANSLAUGHTER.

This here bot is dedicated to the lovely and talented lady Alexandra, who is awesome and sassy and hilarious.

Limited in edition to 2 - right here.

Tags: armadillos, eater, ice cream, manslaughter, memories, people, purple

August 22 2008 | myths | 4 Comments »

Day 59 - Mariner Bot

This crusty old mariner has seen it all; ghost ships, giant sea kraken, desert islands, the calm before the storm. He’s a salty old sailor*, to be sure.

*I prefer sailor to sea man, because otherwise some smart ass is going to make an inappropriate joke involving salty and the *other* way sea man could be taken, and quite frankly, my Mom reads this blog. HI MOM! SAY HI TO DAD FOR ME! NO LEWD JOKES HERE!

Limited in edition to 2 - right here.

Tags: mariner, salty, sea

August 21 2008 | occupations | 3 Comments »

Day 58 - The Super Bot

There are so many cliched things I could say about a superhero bot, I’m practically paralized by the choices! WHAT NERDY SUPERHERO SHOULD I REFERENCE FIRST?! Here’s what is going through my brain:

“It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…. no, can’t go with that. That is too cliched. I will lose all my nerdy street cred. Spiderman? No, too mainstream. Batman’s too dark… you’re a wonder, Wonder Woman! Still not nerdy enough. Can I make a star Wars joke? No. Not the place. Crap! How have I not made a ‘these aren’t the bots you’re looking for’ joke yet?! Damn it! Oh right, super heros. dum de dum…. Pizza girl is probably the best completely nerdy and obscure superhero reference. But is she really super? The scooter is pretty super. But really, what are the chances that anyone will know what I’m talking about. And what if Jeph Jacques obsessively googles his character’s names. Wait, that would be awesome. I probably should’ve defined Super Bot’s powers. Super bot’s primary programming is superness. Or flying. Or saving runaway puppies from oncoming cars……. “

really folks, it just goes downhill from there.

Limited to three- right here.

Tags: super

August 20 2008 | occupations | 6 Comments »